Eating has been a huge struggle for me lately. And because of that, everything else has been a struggle too.
Since Austin, I’ve been obsessed with researching diet lifestyles from high-protein / low carb, gluten-free, paleo, Autoimmune Protocol which is a more in-depth version of paleo, and the Wahls Protocol (which is really, really specific). I’ve talked to multiple nutritional coaches, listened to diet webinars, TEDx talks, done experimental diet/exercise programs, and have tried each of these programs. I’ve learned what works for others but none of them meet my specific needs.
There are diets for endurance athletes, for those with autoimmune diseases, gluten intolerances and food allergies. But not one of them incorporates all of these – which I am. There’s so much information (and a lot of it is contradicting) that it boggles my mind and makes me feel like I’m not good enough and that I’ll never be good enough. I’ve been searching for the perfect dietary lifestyle so much to the point that I’ve lost confidence and faith in myself.
When I feel little confidence, I feel little control.
I’ve consistently been gluten free for about two months and will never go back to eating a standard American diet. It makes me feel so much better inside and so much better about myself. However, when I did the 21-day fix, it stirred up a lot bad habits. I went from being gluten-free and confidently eating what my body needed in order to perform its best throughout the day (including 10+ miles of exercise) to feeling like I was spiraling out of control. I had been comfortable with my eating and exercise habits, yet I signed up for a program that wanted to control what I ate, how much I ate and how much I exercised in order to lose weight. Yet, that’s not what I wanted. What I had been doing was already working. So why did I sign up for it? In hopes that I could take it one step further and continue feeling better, having more energy, and maybe lose weight in the process.
Since then I’ve been trying to get a grip on the progress that I’ve lost.
Not being committed to a certain lifestyle has been detrimental to me. For the last three weeks it’s a miracle if I don’t take a nap by 8:45pm. That’s not normal for a healthy 25-year old. Running 10 miles used to be fairly easy, but lately it’s a miracle if I can get to one mile without stopping to walk.
On top of being tired, the last week has been an eating and weight disaster. Being so tired has led to unhealthy diet choices, which led to lack of self-confidence, which leaves me crashing in a wave of mental and emotional storms.
I’ve been trying to think back to Rick Warren’s Daniel Plan sermons which talk about how we need to care for our bodies because they are God’s temple. I need to get back to the place where I’m eat peace with eating, not stressed by it.
So how am I going to get back to the place I was nearly four weeks ago? I wrote down my daily goals and will post in various places as a reminder of where I need to be and how to get there.
I’m going back to the foundation of what’s best for MY body. First and foremost, I have to remain faithful in prayer. I need to pray for encouragement in the (mentally, emotionally, physically) hard times, I need to pray with a thankful heart for all I’ve been given and the opportunities that I’ve had/have. I need to pray for self control in all aspects, to pray that the Lord reveals His love, grace and plan for my life so that I may be a disciple for His goodness. Next, marathon training starts next week and I NEED to properly fuel, refuel and recover in order to prepare my body for the race. After that I need to ensure I have enough energy on rest days.
I’m glad I’ve read so many accounts of how various diets work for certain people, but I have to remember that their needs aren’t mine. Every body is different. What works for them may not work for me. I’d love to incorporate what I’ve learned from my research in to my daily diet, but I don’t have to follow it exactly because my needs are my own.
Ultimately I have to live in my body. No one else does. No one else has to feel what I feel when I’m too tired to put my dishes away, or too tired to move from the couch to my bed to go to sleep for the night. I need to make my well being first and foremost on the priority list because everything else is a struggle if I don’t.
- Have you ever tried a highly-recommended diet/lifestyle change that didn’t work for you?
- What do you do that’s best for your body every day?