For about the first 17 years of my life I deeply struggled with self-confidence. I never thought I was good enough, or valuable enough for anything. My happiness depended on situational factors that I couldn’t control, or on my perception of the opinions of others. Until one day I had a revelation: if you don’t like it, change it. And I’ve never looked back.
These are the five steps I took to change my own mindset and my life forever.
1. Start seeing yourself differently
I’m a big believer in seeing yourself as you want to be, not what you think you are. Do you want to weigh 10 pounds less? How would you act if you achieved that goal? How would you view yourself? How would you eat? How would you talk to yourself? How would you view yourself in the mirror? Make those changes now! You’ll never make changes if your mind continues to pull you down! We live in the world we create with our thoughts, so if you change your thoughts, you’ll change your actions, and therefore you’ll change your view of yourself.
2. Find something you love and don’t let go
What’s something you’re passionate about? Music? Cooking? Exercise? Friends? Family? Whatever it is, hold on to it and don’t let go. Use it as your support system and propel you forward. If you rely on your own strength, you won’t move forward when you’re weak. So grab on to your passion and hold on when you feel like you’re losing control.
For me, I became passionate about running and used it as my strength even when I was weak. When I started to feel badly about myself I would go for a run. Even if the run was challenging, I told myself I was taking action to becoming my ideal person. I wasn’t going to get better by feeling sorry for myself!
3. Transform your mourning period to a motivating period
No matter how long you’ve changed your thoughts and your view of yourself, you’ll likely deal with a relapse at some point. Those old, unfriendly but familiar feelings will resurface and try to pull you down. Rather than giving in to the relapse, use it to motivate you to continue forward in changing your thoughts. Use it to drive you forward!
If I felt badly about myself I would go for a run and think of all the jealous people in my life who were hoping I would fail, or I would think about where I wanted to be rather then where I thought I was.
4. Anticipate tough times and hold on
Because you’re changing your mindset, it will take time and you will have rough patches. Just know they’re something you’ll have to deal with and hold on to your support group and your vision of how you want to view yourself.
5. Set goals, then set out to accomplish them!
Goals will allow you to see how you’re persevering through your “I’m not good enough” mindset. One of my goals was to run a half marathon. Then I broke down that massive goal into smaller goals: first, run 1 mike without stopping. Then 3 miles without stopping. Then 5 miles. 8 miles. 10 miles. Finally, 13 miles. So even when a tough time would arise, I could look at my goals to see what I’ve accomplished (mood booster!) and to see my remaining goals. This would give me grace in knowing I was still a work in progress!
But above all else, know and trust that you are worthy of feeling happiness and of everything that can bring you happiness!
If your goal is to get in better shape or start running, I would love to help you! Email me at KristenRunsBlog@gmail.com or click here to fill out the form on my Programs page!